What does loyalty mean in a relationship? "Forgive Me - I Was Not Looking" addresses the ties that reach beyond our human experience and perception of reality.

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In the intense and deeply emotional lyricism of Song #1, Carrie Beehan channels the painful disorientation of the film character Cleo who, having lost her human partner, finds herself torn from the greatest comfort, tenderness and intimacy she’s known.

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We forget that an animal has feelings. Cleo has not been abandoned, but experiences the misery of being left alone. She knows the places she and her human frequent, she knows how to get back to the apartment, but she's scared and afraid she'll never see her companion again. At one point, Cleo senses her human might be close, but she cannot yet enjoy the comfort and relief of having her by her side.

The film conveys how loyalty in relationships must thread its way through the realities of life as separate beings. This tension is expressed through expansive shots of the city that, like Cleo's big feelings, are confronted with the isolation suggested in interior close-ups. City life goes on day-to-day, and we so easily ignore the inner experience and intensity of feeling of the creatures closest to us.

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Carrie's note: I wrote this song about people I love in my life and how I wasn't there to help them. Little Cleo, the dog, was by my side throughout this process. Never did I imagine that our videographer, Ladya Cheryl, could so aptly speak to the emotion of helplessness simply by turning it on the subject of human and pet companionship. I am excited to see her camera lens study with the videos she is currently creating for the "Cold Spring Files."

— Carrie Beehan March 2022