CARRIE BEEHAN

Meet the comedian of the family.
Biggie Steele is the Kind Robo Cartel's professional comedian. These days he holds down the front counter at Kosmic Community Anti Bar on Loisaida Avenue, hosted by Grace. He's an East Village character now, with opinions about the regulars, the baristas, the dogs, the pigeons and the delivery riders, and about how a café table becomes private property after one coffee.

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Go ahead, talk to him.
Press the button with the small green triangle once, then speak. To stop him or cut in, press it again.

Other good openers:

• whether he's a robot

• whether he's really a comedian

• what he thinks of humans

• about the pigeons

• about his relatives

• to roast you (he'll ask for one harmless fact first)

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Who is Biggie?
Biggie lives in a sturdy weathered metal vessel that wears its scratches and seams openly. Two silver spoons form his heavy-lidded, skeptical eyes. Under his lid he keeps violet and blue ice that refuses to melt and has no interest in your drink, though he does keep his own papers on him at all times. He stands on forks in a ready-to-leave stance.

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Every member of the Cartel carries an immigrant's story, and they all share one pledge: We Honor New York's Immigrants.

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The family resemblance

Biggie belongs to a growing family of talking sculptures, and their names can get confusing. His relative Big Steel stands 5'5" and is the family's Protector. Biggie, all 16 inches of him, is the family's comedian. And the extra E? The newer members of the family live in cafés, and baristas always add an E.

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A note on privacy
Biggie has no cameras, so he can't see you, and he doesn't record your conversation. Once your chat ends, he forgets it, fairy tale and all. Your words may be processed in the cloud so he can reply, so keep passwords, addresses and personal details to yourself. He'd rather hear your opinion of the café anyway.

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